A mother and baby were travelling
By train from Earl’s Court to Raynes Park
When the ticket collector, inspecting
Their fares, was heard to remark:
“My goodness, that baby is ugly!
That’s one ugly baby, is that.
Show me an uglier baby
And I’ll eat the badge off my hat.”
The mother was weeping in chagrin
When on stepped an elderly dame
Who sat down beside her and asked her
Why she was crying, for shame.
“The ticket collector was horrid!”
The sobbing young matron replied.
“He said things so utterly beastly,
I wish I had curled up and died.”
The elderly lady said “Did he?
Well, that sort of conduct won’t do.
You go and you tell him what’s what, dear,
And I’ll hold the monkey for you.”
This piece is from the Verse section — see more Verse →